Trump Finds Out Musk Runs Government Like He Runs Twitter—Badly
Turns out putting billionaires in charge isn't innovation—it's chaos.
Donald Trump learned a painful lesson this week: letting Elon Musk loose on government efficiency is like handing over your kitchen to the Tasmanian Devil—expect a show, but don’t ask about the cleanup.
In the White House’s Cabinet Room, Secretary of State Marco Rubio found himself caught in Musk’s crosshairs for the cardinal sin of not firing people publicly.
Sitting smugly across the table, Musk blasted Rubio for firing “nobody,” sarcastically adding that perhaps the only firing he'd done was to someone from Musk’s ironically named Department of Government Efficiency.
Rubio, long accustomed to the controlled chaos of politics, snapped back, pointing out that 1,500 State Department employees had already quietly exited via early retirement.
“Should I rehire them so you can live-stream their dismissals?” Rubio asked, clearly regretting every life decision that had led him here.
Musk’s response? That Rubio was “good on TV,” implying he was otherwise useless. Rich, coming from the world’s wealthiest online troll whose idea of public service is tweeting rocket emojis at NASA.
This Cabinet meeting—an event generally reserved for pretending to solve America’s problems—quickly devolved into the world’s most expensive reality TV pilot, with Trump watching gleefully from the sidelines until even he recognized it was time to referee.
The president half-heartedly defended Rubio, noting how busy the man was jet-setting and making TV appearances.
It was classic Trump: simultaneously praising Rubio and subtly mocking his effectiveness—a talent only he truly masters.
Chainsaws and Scalpels—Which Is It?
Musk’s blunt-force approach to government, celebrated by Trump supporters as “bold leadership,” has instead turned out to be the political equivalent of drunken axe throwing: entertaining at first, less fun when someone loses an eye—or an agency.
Just ask Rubio, who’s still furious Musk managed to shutter USAID without so much as a courtesy text.
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy jumped into the melee, warning Musk’s young acolytes were targeting air traffic controllers for layoffs.
Musk indignantly demanded proof, only to be told there were no names because Duffy had heroically intervened.
Musk accused Duffy of lying, Duffy called Musk reckless, and Trump interjected with the thoughtful suggestion that maybe MIT grads should run air traffic control. Sure—because putting introverted Ph.D. students in charge of preventing midair collisions sounds foolproof.
The chaos underscored a more profound truth: Musk’s team has the subtlety of a sledgehammer, mistaking destruction for innovation. It’s one thing to reduce waste; it’s another to confuse chainsaws for scalpels and wonder why everyone’s bleeding.
Billionaire Worship Meets Political Reality
Ever sensitive to appearances, Trump finally drew a line: Musk’s team would now merely advise, leaving Cabinet secretaries officially in charge.
It’s the first real hint that Trump realizes Musk might actually cause more problems than he solves—especially since Musk recently thanked Trump with a $1 million ad buy, making Trump look like he’s running the government via sponsored tweets.
But this meeting wasn’t just about clashing egos.
Veterans Affairs Secretary Doug Collins bravely pointed out Musk’s cost-cutting could alienate thousands of veterans—core Trump voters who prefer not to be treated like disposable line items. Trump suggested that the solution was to keep the “smart ones” and ditch the “bad ones,” a strategy as nuanced as Musk’s Twitter moderation policy.
Make It Make Sense
This isn’t efficiency; it’s billionaire cosplay, where cutting government becomes about performative chaos rather than thoughtful reform.
Trump’s realization that Musk’s approach needs adjustment is promising, but given Musk’s financial power over Trump’s political machine, expect more fireworks, fewer solutions, and plenty of tweets.
Because in Trump’s America, policy isn’t about making things work—it’s about making headlines. And Musk is clearly happy to oblige.
That’s the point.
Zahead, Chaos Analyst