The Biden Experiment Was a Four Year Study in Almost Getting It Right
From historic wins to historic blunders, America’s grandpa ran the country, lost the narrative, and handed Trump a second term.
Part 1: The Accidental President – How We Got Here
A Presidency No One Saw Coming
Joe Biden’s rise to the presidency was less of a dramatic ascent and more of a stumble up the stairs, which, given his track record with stairs, is oddly fitting.
His campaign started with an accidental announcement at a dinner, continued with a disastrous primary season that had him finishing lower than a McDonald’s Monopoly ticket in Iowa and New Hampshire, and then somehow magically resurrected when South Carolina Democrats decided, “Eh, why not?”
From there, Biden became the Democratic nominee because the party rallied around him faster than interns scrambling to mute his mic at a press conference. His strategy in the general election? Say as little as possible, sit in a basement, and let Trump do Trump things.
Shockingly, it worked.
I. Biden’s Early Wins (Or: The Political Participation Trophy Cabinet)
COVID-19: The "We Did It, Folks!" Approach
Biden came into office promising to end the pandemic and restore normalcy. His solution? Waiting it out until everyone just decided COVID was over.
To be fair, his administration rolled out vaccines quickly, pushed massive stimulus payments, and reopened businesses. But he also over-promised (remember when he said the pandemic would be over by July 4, 2021?) and under-delivered (cue the Delta and Omicron variants crashing that party like unwanted relatives).
Grade: B- (Did the job, but the execution was shakier than a Biden press conference.)
Infrastructure: America Still Has Potholes, But They’re Federally Funded Now
Biden’s $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill was one of his biggest wins. Roads, bridges, and gasp trains actually got funding. Americans still don’t see many of the results yet, but give it a decade and maybe we’ll finally have an airport that doesn’t feel like a dystopian escape room.
Grade: A- (Biggest success, but still waiting for results.)
Student Loan Forgiveness: A Magic Trick That Almost Worked
Biden promised full federal student loan forgiveness for people making under $125K. Then the Supreme Court struck it down like a bouncer tossing out a broke college student.
But Biden, ever the wily operator, found loopholes and quietly forgave $183 billion anyway using executive authority.
Grade: C+ (He promised filet mignon, delivered a well-seasoned burger.)
II. The Economy: The Numbers Look Great, But Your Wallet Disagrees
The "Vibecession" - How Biden Lost the Economic Narrative
If you looked at the numbers, Biden’s economy was strong: low unemployment, a booming stock market, and major investments in renewable energy and manufacturing. But if you looked at your grocery receipt, you felt like you were buying eggs at Louis Vuitton.
The problem? Inflation.
Biden kept bragging about economic indicators, but voters kept noticing that their money was disappearing faster than a White House press secretary during tough questions.
Grade: C- (On paper? Great. In reality? People were mad.)
Biden’s first two years were full of wins, but his inability to sell those wins made it all feel like a political version of "Congrats! You Played Yourself."
His quiet, basement-dwelling campaign worked in 2020, but in 2024, voters wanted more than just "not Trump." They wanted leadership, vision, and someone who didn’t sound like they were buffering mid-sentence.
Part 2: The Foreign Policy Saga – Wars, Withdrawals, and the Occasional Shrug
If Joe Biden thought foreign policy would be about schmoozing NATO allies and convincing North Korea to stop playing with nukes, he quickly got a reality check in the form of not one, but two wars that nobody saw coming.
Suddenly, the guy who campaigned on “restoring America’s reputation” found himself managing global crises like a tired substitute teacher who just wanted a quiet period.
Let’s break it down.
I. The Afghanistan Withdrawal – A Masterclass in Tripping Over the Finish Line
Biden had one clear foreign policy promise: Get out of Afghanistan. And he did! Technically. But much like a skydiver who remembers the parachute after jumping, execution matters.
The "Surprise! The Taliban Are Back" Moment – The U.S. spent 20 years and trillions of dollars training the Afghan army, only for them to fold faster than a cheap lawn chair the second the U.S. left.
The Kabul Airport Chaos – Who needs an orderly evacuation plan when you can have people clinging to departing planes in scenes straight out of a dystopian thriller?
The "Mission Accomplished?" Vibe – Biden defended the withdrawal by saying, “We didn’t expect the Afghan government to collapse in 11 days.” Ah yes, the classic “How Could We Have Known?” excuse—used by students who forgot their homework and U.S. presidents who forgot about the country they were abandoning.
Was leaving Afghanistan the right move? Probably. Was it done in the most chaotic, embarrassing, and tragic way possible? Also yes.
II. Ukraine – Supporting a War, Just… Very Slowly
When Russia invaded Ukraine, Biden had two options:
Stand with Ukraine and give them everything they need immediately.
Play the “Maybe Later” game with military aid.
He went with Option 2, and it went about as well as expected.
The Delayed Weapons Strategy – Every few months, Ukraine would ask for something (tanks, missiles, fighter jets), and Biden would say no, wait a few months, then eventually send them what they asked for anyway. It was like a bad parent denying their kid a toy, only to buy it after months of tantrums.
The "We Stand with Ukraine" Theater – Biden made grand speeches about democracy while quietly wondering if Congress would approve the next round of aid.
The War Fatigue Problem – By 2024, Americans were sick of funding a war they barely understood, and Biden was too scared to push harder for long-term support.
Biden’s handling of Ukraine was like telling your friend you’ll help them move, but only showing up halfway through with a single roll of packing tape.
III. Israel-Palestine – The Political Third Rail
The Israel-Gaza war put Biden in the worst possible position: stuck between history, his party, and an absolute PR nightmare.
Step 1: Full Support for Israel – Because if there’s one thing an 81-year-old president doesn’t need, it’s complicated foreign policy nuance.
Step 2: Wait, The Optics Are Bad – As the war escalated and civilian casualties mounted, Biden’s popularity cratered with younger and progressive voters. Suddenly, supporting Israel wasn’t just bad optics—it was electoral suicide.
Step 3: The Exit – Just as Biden left office, a peace deal magically came together, raising the question: Was Biden the problem all along?
At best, Biden’s handling of Israel was a messy attempt at balancing global diplomacy and domestic politics. At worst, it was a case study in how not to navigate a war.
Foreign Policy – A Game of Reaction, Not Strategy
Biden didn’t create these wars, but he sure did make them harder to manage. His foreign policy was defined by hesitation, delayed reactions, and a lack of clear vision.
When the dust settled, his legacy wasn’t global leadership—it was a guy putting out fires while accidentally setting new ones.
Grade: D – He kept NATO strong but reacted to every crisis like a man who forgot his reading glasses.
Part 3: The Fall of Biden and the Return of Trump
Biden’s presidency was a mix of surprising legislative wins, unfortunate blunders, and moments that made you wonder if he was accidentally playing on easy mode the whole time.
He got into office mostly because Trump scared enough voters into picking literally anyone else, and he might have stayed there if he hadn't completely misread the political moment and refused to acknowledge his own limitations.
This is the story of how Biden fumbled the easiest play in politics: running against Donald Trump… again.
I. The Age Problem – America’s Grandpa Was Just Too Old for the Job
From Day One, people were nervous about his age. But Biden, ever the optimist, assured us he was still “sharp as ever.”
Then came the incoherent press conferences, the occasional frozen-in-place moments, and the growing feeling that his staff was treating him like a delicate museum artifact.
Instead of proving he was up for the job, Biden hid from the press, gave fewer interviews than any modern president, and generally acted like a guy who just wanted to take a nap.
Then Came The Debate… And Oh Boy.
Biden could have crushed Trump in their first debate. Instead, he froze, mumbled, and looked utterly unprepared, confirming every single voter’s worst fear: He was too old to run again.
Cue the Democratic Panic Button. Suddenly, people like Ezra Klein, David Axelrod, and other high-profile liberals were practically begging him to drop out.
Biden refused. Because why listen to your entire party when you can insist you’re fine while literally everyone else watches you unravel in real time?
The elderly relative at Thanksgiving moment had finally arrived, and it was clear to everyone except Biden himself.
II. The Last-Minute Exit – The Slowest Political Resignation in History
It took weeks of pressure from Democratic leaders for Biden to finally admit he wasn’t the best candidate.
By then, it was too late. The Democrats had no time to run a proper campaign. Kamala Harris, who had spent four years being politically invisible, was suddenly thrust into a race she wasn’t prepared for.
Trump, meanwhile, just sat back and let Biden implode. The one guy who should have been politically finished somehow walked back into office—without even needing to work for it.
Biden could have stepped aside gracefully and passed the torch to a younger candidate. Instead, he dragged out the inevitable and handed Trump the White House on a silver platter.
III. The Democrats’ Future – A Sad, Confused Pile of People Looking for a Leader
Now that Biden was gone, the Democrats found themselves in a full-blown identity crisis.
Trump pulled working-class voters away from them.
Minority support eroded.
Young voters felt betrayed over Biden’s handling of Israel.
Even worse, Democrats no longer had a clear leader. Was it Kamala Harris? Gavin Newsom? A random TikTok influencer with 3 million followers? Nobody knew.
But here’s the silver lining:
Globally, there’s an anti-incumbency wave, and Biden’s loss wasn’t unique—leaders everywhere are getting voted out.
The Republicans actually have to govern now, and spoiler: they’re already fighting amongst themselves.
The Democrats’ future? Bleak, but not hopeless.
Biden’s Legacy – A Presidency That Happened
Joe Biden had historic policy wins—but his presidency will always be remembered for how it ended.
Instead of bowing out on his own terms, he clung to power too long, refused to acknowledge reality, and let Trump waltz back into the White House.
In ten years, history might look at his achievements more favorably—but for now, his presidency is defined by its chaotic ending.
Final Grade: C-
(Could have been remembered as a strong one-term leader. Instead, he went full “I can still do this, coach!” and cost his party everything.)
Final Thought: The One Rule of Politics Biden Forgot
Sometimes, the smartest move isn’t to fight to the bitter end. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is know when to leave the stage.
Biden didn’t, and now America is back where it started—Trump, Round 2.
Za-Head